marae alyra moondancer alyramoondancer

Again, again!

I had so much fun doing this the other day, I thought I'd do it again. This one is much shorter.

Now, this guy puts his entire message in italics. So this time my responses are in not-italics, just so we don't get too confused. (But a little confusion is OK, especially at this time of the morning).

From: "Capt. John Savimbi" <>
Date: Tue, 25 Apr 2006 02:24:38 -0700 (PDT)
Subject: Reply Immediately

At least this one only has one e-mail address. Why is he sending this to himself, I wonder? Is his e-mail program so primitive that it won't automatically save sent messages for him? Does he just not know how to turn that feature on? Or maybe he just likes to sit around and send e-mail to himself all day? Isn't it funny that he sent this to himself, but it came to me? Is it possible I'm not supposed to get this message at all? Well, I've got it now; I hate to be rude and not reply to it ("immediately") after he went to all that trouble to accidentally send it to me while sending it to himself.

I wonder if he also Replied Immediately?

Good Day Sir,

*AHEM* Gender check, please. I am not, have never been, nor ever will be a "sir." At least not in this incarnation.

[But then again, you are also sending this to yourself. I think "Dear Sir or Madam" would be the correct approach, don't you agree?]

I hope my email meets you well.

Well met, I'm sure.

I am in need of your assistance.

Yeah, yeah, that's what they all say. Gee, it's nice to be needed.

My name is Capt. John Savimbi, I am in the Engineering military unit here in Luanda- Angola,we have about $9.5 Million US dollars that we want to move out of the country and it is legal.

I see you and our other friend both have trouble with the space bar (especially after a comma). That must be a common problem in the Department of Redundancy Department. However, unlike our other friend, you do know how to cut to the chase. Legal? Sure it is.

But we are moving it through diplomatic means,

Even though it's legal?

to send it to your house directly

Door to door service! Fancy that.

or a bank of your choice using diplomatic courier service.The most important thing is that can we trust you?

No, the most important thing is that you get that space bar fixed. Can you trust me? Look, I've got your e-mail addy, I know what you're up to and I know where you are. You'd BETTER be able to trust me! And now's a fine time to be asking, isn't it?

Once the funds get to you, you take your 40% out and keep our own 60%.

Really? You mean that?

Your own part of this deal is to find a safe place where the funds can be sent to.

I thought you were sending them to me.

Our own part is sending it to you.

That's what I thought you said. Now you have me confused.

If you are interested i will furnish you with more details. But the whole process is simple

That's a good thing, considering that you can't even figure out whether sending the funds to me is the same as sending the funds to me.

and we must keep a low profile at all times.


Waiting for your urgent response.

No, no, no. Your message is urgent. My response just has to be prompt. Or, as you suggest in your subject line, immediate. Try this:

Capt. John Savimbi</i>

OK. Now you have my "urgent" response. Um, did that actually do anything for either of us?
marae alyra moondancer alyramoondancer

I’ve been dying to do this...

...but of course, you can’t send a reply to any of these spammails, because then they’ll know you have a good address and they will mine it for all it’s worth. So I dutifully “report spam” to my e-mail provider and delete the offensive missive. But once, just once, I’d like to tell them what I really think.

Today it occurred to me: Why does it have to be in e-mail, where the only one to see it will likely be an auto-responder or data-miner anyway? Why not put it up in public for the world to see, to gawk, perchance to laugh...?

So here, in all its splendor, is the latest of these epistles to cross my threshhold. Like Groo, I shall now proceed to do what I do best. *rubs hands together*

From: "David Frank" <>

Oh, look. Email from someone I‘ve never heard of. Must be important. I‘d better read it Right Away.


And look! It’s not even addressed to me! How ... personal.

Date: Fri, 21 Apr 2006 04:32:03 -0800 (GMT+8)
Message-ID: <>

Geez. How many e-mail addresses does this guy have, anyway?

Good day.

It was until you showed up.

How are you?

Worse, now that you‘re here.

I do hope that you are fine,Please permit me to introduce myself to you.

Why should I? And didn‘t you hear what I just said?

My name is Dr. David Frank,I am the bills and exchange director at United Bank of Africa plc Abuja.(U.B.A). Please you should exercise some little patience and read my mail.

I see you are having some difficulty with your spacebar, but that‘s still no reason I should have even “some little patience.” Much less read your mail.

I am writing this letter to solicit for support and assistance from you to carry out this Business opportunity in my department.

Since you neglected the space there, I‘ll help you out. Tell me, if this is an opportunity in your department, why don‘t you ask them for help?

There is an account opened in this bank since 1998 and the money is Lying in an inactive account awaiting liquidation,The amount is the sum of USD $26 million U.s Dollars

I get it. You‘re in the Department of Redundancy Department. That explains it.

belonging to a foreign customer (Engr.Gambone Michael) who was a petroleum/gas consultant/contactor

He was a contactor? Whom did he contact?

with the Nigeria National Petroleum coporation who happens to be deceased during a business trip.

What‘s a coporation? A conglomerate of policemen? -- Oh, never mind, it’s deceased anyway.

He died with his wife(Deborah Gambone) on board the Swissair Flight 111 , which crashed into the Atlantic off Nova Scotia in september 2nd 1998.

Wait. The coporation (I think you mean corporation, don’t you?) had a wife? Isn‘t that, um, isn‘t that bigamy? I mean polygamy? Or um, polyandry? Or um...

Whatever it is, isn‘t that illegal?

Oh, oh, wait a minute! I get it! It‘s not the
corporation that‘s dead, it‘s “his” wife, and her husband, who is that Gambone Michael guy you were talking about earlier.

So, um, how come her last name isn‘t “Michael“?

The news of this crash was on the news

The news was on the news. Well, that‘s appropriate.

which our efforts to notified his relatives leads to no avail.

If you communicated with them as well as you‘re communicating with me, it‘s no wonder.

Ever since he died with his wife the Bank have been expecting his next of kin to come and claim these fund, the NDIC could not liquidate the account because I have filled a motion that a next of kin wrote in to the effect last week. To this effect, they can not release the money unless someone applies for it as next of kin, as indicated in our banking guideline.

Um, OK. Sure.

I have decided to do business with you,

Oh, you have, have you?

I need your assistance in applying as the next of kin and beneficiary to Engr.Michael Gambone then the money will be released to you.

Wait. Let me get this straight. You want me to lie? And by the way, I thought his name was “Engr.Gambone Michael.“ Did he change it? If you want me to pretend to be his next of kin, I‘d jolly well better know his right name, hadn‘t I?

As i do not want this money to go into the bank treasury as an unclaimed bill,or our superiors taking the funds for their own personal use.

But you‘d be perfectly happy for it to go into my account, where I can take it for my own personal use. Gotcha.

The banking law and guideline in my country stipulates that if such money(s) remains unclaimed for a period of ten years(10) the money will be transferred into the banks treasury as an unclaimed bill.

I see. That explains everything. We couldn‘t possibly, like, obey the law, now, could we? Much less let the remaining two years go by in case the real heirs show up?

My request for a foreigner as next of kin is occasioned by the fact that the customer was a foreigner.

Of course. Makes perfect sense. Doesn‘t matter what kind of foreigner, does it? I mean, so what if the guy was, say, Canadian, or British, or Australian, but I‘m an American? We‘re all foreigners, right?

To effect the immediate transfer of the fund to you as agreed, you must apply first to the bank as the next of kin to the deceased,I can apply on your behalf here,I will guide you on how this would be done.

I‘m sure you will.

The fund shall then be transferred to your account legally in accordance to all laid down procedures governing closure of account and transfer of funds.

Legally. Right. Aside from that little lie we discussed earlier, of course.

If you are willing to assist me, I have agreed to give you 20% of USD $26 million united states Dollars,i will take 80%,

Sure, sure. I stick my neck out and all I get is a measly 20 percent? Not on your life, buster.

And you really ought to get that space bar fixed.

i will also like to inform you that i will come over to your country as soon as the transfer is concluded because i will like to invest my own share of the money in your country.

That‘s nice.

Note that this transaction is legitimate,safe and 100% risk free.

And I‘m Harry Potter.

Upon the receipt of your reply which should includes your personal telephone number for easy communication between us,I will confidentially work out all modalities for the successful transfer of this money to you.

Let me guess. English isn‘t your native language, so you have to show off by using Big Words. What do you mean, “modalities“? Oh. Never mind, I just looked it up.

And no, I‘m not giving you my phone number. Go somewhere else for phone sex.

All I require is your honest co-operation to enable us seeing this Business through. I Guarantee that this will be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will Protect us from any breach of the law, this is a Risk free business relationship.

Methinks the gentleman doth protest too much. If it‘s a “legitimate arrangement,” why do we need “Protection” from any “breach of the law”?

In conclusion, as we go on in the transaction you will also have to advice me on the type of investment in your country, that i could put my own share into, as I do not intend to bring back my own share to my country.

Sure, I‘ll “advice” you (like I know!) But I just can’t imagine why you don’t want to bring your share back to your own country.

Please reply as soon as you get this mail.

I Awaits to hear from you soon.

Sure, Popeye.


yours truely.

David Frank.

You‘re welcome. [insert all manner of sniggers, guffaws, rolling heads, and other laughter-induced emoticons here]

I feel soooooooo much better now.
marae alyra moondancer alyramoondancer

Driving your own karma

The other day I tried driving for the first time -- in Second Life.

Believe me, it is much easier in First Life!

Thankfully, you can't die in SL, or I would be very, very dead. Several times over.

How do I crash thee? Let me count the ways...

1) Drive off the side of the road and into a ditch

2) Drive into the embankment on the side of the road

3) Drive into a tree

4) Drive into the side of a building

5) Drive through the side of a building (not the same as driving into the side of a building -- here you navigate the car while occupying the same space as the wall you are driving parallel to, i.e. "through" -- it is very scary because it is very dark, because the wall in question is black. You cannot see where you are going. At all.)

6) Drive into a tree some more while aiming for the embankment, then back up into the same tree

7) Drive off the road again and into the bottom of a ditch -- a very deep ditch

8) Discover that said ditch is actually filled with water and you are at the bottom of a lake

The problem seems to be the road. For all it looks nice and smooth and relatively straight, with only minor curves and the occasional gentle hill, it seems to give the car an incurable case of the wobblies -- the wheels turn to one side or the other almost of their own accord, and no matter how truly you seem to have it aimed, the second you step on the accelerator (I mean, hit the up arrow for forward), the car instead of going straight ahead veers for the nearest shoulder, curb, or obstacle. Constant directional adjustment (made without the aid of a steering wheel, or even a joystick or mouse) is required, with the result that you progress in a very slow and nervous jig-jag down the road, an effect made worse by the often considerable lag (more than likely the fault of my obsolete graphics card rather than the site, but still....)

At the bottom of the lake, I finally gave up, picked up my little green car and stuffed it back into inventory, flew out of the lake (yes, you can fly in SL), landed, and ran the rest of the way. (Running is like walking, only marginally faster, considerably less predictable, and funnier-looking.)

Although the motorcycle I tried yesterday worked a good deal better, it was still a slow and exasperating ride which ended up with the bike wedged between a containing wall and a tree. I never did get it out of there properly, and once more just had to pack it up and pack it in.

Next time, I think I'll fly.
marae alyra moondancer alyramoondancer

Good morning?

This morning the alarm went off at three. I'm actually OK with that; some mornings I wake up before it goes off, in fact (that is, if it has to be set at three, which it doesn't always, thankfully). This morning was one of those mornings when I woke up before it went off.

Unfortunately, this morning, "before" was around 1:30, give or take. And I could not get back to sleep until some time after 2:52 (the last time that registered when I looked at the clock), so in addition to the maybe four hours of sleep I got before I woke up, I have slept somewhat less than eight minutes.

I have to drive for half an hour to be at work by six.

It is quarter to four, I'm staring at breakfast (which is really a frozen dinner, well, formerly frozen) and trying to get myself geared up to eat it. My stomach is still complaining at me for all the crap I've fed it while it's been trying to recover from the nasties on Sunday (because there wasn't anything handy in the house that I should have been feeding it). On the other hand, the cat is fed and thankfully quiet (probably gone back to sleep) and I'm dressed and otherwise ready for the drive. Unfortunately the store this morning (I do inventories) is one where I'll have to actually count things, instead of just zapping tag after tag with a laser (which I did for almost seven hours yesterday). Which means I really do need to awake. Be. Sigh. Well, tomorrow I have off (which means no money coming in, but I don't care now, I need the rest).

There. My requisite grumble-about-the-real-world post we all have to make sooner or later in one of these online journal blog thingies. Done my duty. Can we have fun now?
marae alyra moondancer alyramoondancer

Rough roads...

Yesterday I crashed out of Second Life, repeatedly. I think it was three times. Each time I logged in and someone IM'd me while I was still coming into focus. And I replied, and shortly thereafter, I crashed. This wasn't just "to the desktop"; my whole stupid computer just froze solid and I had to do a reboot.

"I hope you were at least wearing your seatbelt," my friend quips the first time it happened.

"Always," I replied. Then I crashed again.

I hope the guy doesn't think I'm avoiding him!

This morning I got on and after a very short time they shut down for updates/maintenance. Sigh. Well, I'll get on later. At least today I didn't crash. :)
marae alyra moondancer alyramoondancer

My other life some more...

Today I spent a solitary morning roaming around Telador Island. This was good, because I could take care of some personal business (made a couple of new shirts and fixed a problem with my hair -- I hope) and then just explore without having to worry about conducting a conversation at the same time.

You can look for Relto pages and find them, and when you find them all, you get a treasure. Oooooo, I like treasure! :) And you can sit on the egg! Of course, that puts you inside the innards of the egg room, and getting out again is a challenge. I finally had to teleport out.

I am very impressed with the work (and love) that they put into this place. It looks so very much like the real Uru -- not exactly, of course, but close. I think it's a lovely tribute. There's even a working heek table! This makes me want even more to get myself into Until Uru. It's only a matter of time.
marae alyra moondancer alyramoondancer

My other life, continued...

Well, now I have something to write about. *grin* I hope I can make it entertaining for the rest of you. I've started an offline journal of my Second Life; it's intended to keep a record of what I do there so that I can better remember certain things, like names of people I've met, places I've been, and so on. Online I expect I'll mostly reminisce about amusing or interesting things that happen in SL.

I had a lovely time yesterday visiting the Uru region in Second Life, which is called Telador. It's amazing how much like the game they've made it look. The link-in point -- I mean, the landmark to which you teleport -- is in Eder Kemo. I wandered around for awhile, looking at all the cool stuff -- the fountain, the Bahro paintings, the floating sculpture, the Journey cloth, the Journey door (yes, you can go inside), the puffer plants, the fireflies (they follow you around, just like they do in the game)... I even saw a keanulint. I guess for me this is sort of my "until Until Uru" since I'm not quite prepped in the hardware department to go online and play. (If this is all Greek to you, leave a comment and I'll be glad to explain, or someone else will.)

So I'm wandering around and I see this guy up on a hill, so I fly up there, and eventually get myself oriented and landed (flying is easy, you see; it's getting down again that I have trouble with). And I go up to the guy (whose name I've already forgotten -- see why I need that other journal?) and say, "Do you play Uru?" And he laughs and laughs and says, "Have you heard of Rand?" And I say, "Of course!" "Of Cyan?" "Of course! LOL" "Well, I was just standing six feet away from him..." He'd just been playing online in the new Cyan shard, D'mala.

Of course he wondered why I wasn't playing online, and I said I needed to upgrade my hardware, and he asked what I was doing, and I told him about my space situation and we got into a wonderful geek chat. It was one of those things where you're trying to see who's used the most primitive equipment. He used to load games off of tapes, but I'd used a 600 baud modem and knew people who used 300 baud. And I had actually been on a bbs. So there. :)
marae alyra moondancer alyramoondancer

My other life...

More specifically, my "Second Life." I got gently nudged into this online community thing by my SO who says, "There are real people making real money there, or so I hear. I have a day job and no time or energy; you have next to no job and next to no energy, but you have plenty of time. You check it out."

So here I am, in this world. In this very, very complicated world, where you go through Orientation, and then you get Help, and then you are Welcomed, and then you go out in the wide world and try to do whatever it is you do in such a place.

Orientation gives you the basics for moving and communicating and customizing your avatar so you don't look just like everyone else. When you first get there, you do look just like everyone else. It was a big relief to look more like myself, I can tell you.

Help is a place where you learn more skills, meet more people who aren't just bumbling around like yourself and who can actually teach you some things, and you can get Free Stuff. You can get just about anything there -- from clothes and dance moves to a flying saucer.

At least, I'm told you can get a flying saucer. I somehow or other neglected to pick one up (although I got the car and the minibike).

I spent two days in orientation (or was that three?) and then another three days in Help, and I'd still be in Help, except for the third time in as many days, the server went down and logged me out, and I thought to heek with this, I'm going back right away this time, and it said it couldn't put me back where I came from because the server was down, and all of a sudden, BAM! I'm not on Help Island anymore. I'm Somewhere Else. And while that was fine, for the moment, because it was just me and one of the "mentor" people and it was a pretty place to be while I learned a few more things about moving around and so on, once you leave Help Island you can't go back.

I wasn't ready to leave yet, quite, and now I can't go back. Well, I didn't exactly leave, I was booted off, and maybe I could talk them into letting me go back. But I've been around the "real" Second Life world a little bit now and now I'm not sure it's worth it...

...just to get that flying saucer...
marae alyra moondancer alyramoondancer

(no subject)

Testing, one, two, three...

Or perhaps that should read "Pushing the boundaries..."

I have switched styles here, and made a few adjustments to the new style. I just want to see if one of my changes actually worked. I may not stay with this look; I'm exploring.

Anyway, if the subject here turns out to be "Blank today..." we'll know something worked right. If it turns out to be literally blank, we'll know it didn't. And if I change styles tomorrow, it will be an absolutely moot point.


And it looks like it didn't work. Sigh. Well, perhaps tomorrow I'll try a different style (not that it will work there either...)