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marae alyra moondancer alyramoondancer

Yet another spammail...

Posted on 2006.11.15 at 09:52
Tags: ,
These are a never ending source of amusement and befuddlement, and this morning's was a doozy. Just the first line had me practically rolling on the floor, so I'm sharing it with you all:

"It is with deep sense of ego and the least atom of opportunity I have that I am soliciting your kind assistance to receive and investing this money in our country."

They all have a deep sense of ego, don't they? And he's right -- it is the least atom of opportunity. The very least. So least, in fact, that it is practically nonexistent.

The opening sally was followed later by this monstrosity of a sentence:

"For now all my family's deposits within the nation was sealed, including the arrest of the managing director Fountain Trust Bank who was arrested and his bank sealed because the Government discovered my father's deposit with the Bank with the believe that he was having unclean dealings with my father."

Can you make sense out of that? I can -- sort of. I think. "Unclean dealings." Tsk, tsk.

And the kicker:

"As it stands now if the government discovers the fund it will be confiscated and sealed, that was the reason why I solicited your kind help to assist me to receive this money for investment in your country"

Wait. I thought all deposits had been sealed already. And wasn't that supposed to be investment in his country? Oh, no. Our country. Which means we must both live in the same country, right? So, um, what does he need me for again?

Well, it got my day off to an amused start, anyway. Hope it does likewise for you all.


soren_nyrond at 2006-11-16 07:23 (UTC) (Link)
For some reason they suddenly took me off their "send-to" list. I don't think they like working with someone loonier than they think they are. Perhaps insisting that I'd already sent $$$K to their (non-existent) partner put them off, too.

Ah, the life of an innocent little Nyrond !!
Alyra Moondancer
alyramoondancer at 2006-11-16 13:03 (UTC) (Link)
*grin* Maybe I should tell them I'm in cahoots with you, and they'd leave me alone, too?

Of course, then I'd lose a major source of material.
Case File # 347632A727-BD-2396
jahura at 2006-11-19 02:48 (UTC) (Link)
Ah, the life of an innocent little Nyrond!

Hello. Do I know you, sir?
soren_nyrond at 2006-11-19 16:19 (UTC) (Link)
Perhaps not ... but ( with eyebrows) we could always get acquaintde.

(Coughs, goes and lies down)
Case File # 347632A727-BD-2396
jahura at 2006-11-19 17:34 (UTC) (Link)
Let me know when you're up to it.

suppresses cough, goes to the kitchen and brings out a toureen of chicken soup on a tray with a bowl and spoon and a box of tissues, and quietly exits
soren_nyrond at 2006-11-20 10:18 (UTC) (Link)
Touche, dear lady
Case File # 347632A727-BD-2396
jahura at 2006-11-23 01:26 (UTC) (Link)
I'm sorry. I wasn't aware I was fencing. I will put my epee away before someone gets hurt.
Case File # 347632A727-BD-2396
jahura at 2006-11-16 08:29 (UTC) (Link)
Sounds like the whole message was Brought To You By BabelFish. I wonder what the original language is that the engine translated into that compound-fractured English. LOL
Alyra Moondancer
alyramoondancer at 2006-11-16 13:09 (UTC) (Link)
Well, the source claimed to be from Nigeria, if memory serves (I have of course deleted the original). That's a safe bet, since probably eighty percent of them are from that country, or allege themselves to be. (The other twenty percent are from England... ...but they don't have to be translated).

*marae looks sideways at Soren*

Nah. Not sweet, fluffy, innocent little him...
soren_nyrond at 2006-11-20 10:19 (UTC) (Link)
No, I don't have the stamina to run one of those on my own. I jst like now and again to screw with their heads, and make them Not Want to play by my rules.
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